- قُل لِّلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ يَغُضُّواْ مِنۡ أَبۡصَـٰرِهِمۡ وَيَحۡفَظُواْ فُرُوجَهُمۡۚ ذَٲلِكَ أَزۡكَىٰ لَهُمۡۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ خَبِيرُۢ بِمَا يَصۡنَعُونَ (Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. Surah 24, Verse 30)
* Looking at a woman is not unlawful when it is done out of necessity and when there is no evil intention with the glance
* Because it is difficult to know if there is mischief in our glance, it has been disallowed and Allah SWT says to lower the gaze
* Saddu zara’i (cutting off the pretext) is a principle in Shariah that prohibits something that will lead to a sin. For example, the Prophet (ﷺ) prohibited the cups that were specifically used for drinking alcohol so it doesn’t lead to the desire to drink alcohol. In a similar fashion, to glance at a woman without lust is not haram, but because a person cannot be sure of his glance each time he is looking, Allah SWT closed the pathways by saying to lower the gaze.
* When a person looks with lust, a poisonous arrow enters the heart and spreads. The heart plays with the evil glance and then the mind comes up with all these concoctions to please the nafs. The remembrance of Allah and tawbah remove the poison.
* It is also recommended to follow up the tawbah with charity as a means of purifying the heart and removing the effects of the sin. خُذۡ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٲلِهِمۡ صَدَقَةً۬ تُطَهِّرُهُمۡ وَتُزَكِّيہِم بِہَا (Take sadaqah (obligatory alms) out of their wealth through which you may cleanse and purify them Surah 9, Verse 103)
- Hadith: Abu Umama Al-Bahily (RAH) narrated that a young man came to the Prophet and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit fornication.’ The Companions turned to him and started rebuking him. The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “Come closer.” When the young man drew nearer to the Prophet (ﷺ) and sat down, the Prophet (ﷺ) asked him: “Would you like it for your mother?” The man answered; “No, by Allah. May Allah make me a protection for you!” The Prophet (ﷺ) commented, “People also do not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet added, “Would you like it for your daughter?” Again, the young man answered negatively. So, the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “People too would not love it for their daughters.” Further, the Prophet (ﷺ) asked, “Would you like it for your sister?” The Prophet (ﷺ) received the same answer and made the same comment. The Prophet (ﷺ) went on asking about the man’s paternal and maternal aunts. The young man’s answer was the same and the Prophet (ﷺ) repeated the same comment, “People do not like that for their aunts.” The Prophet (ﷺ) then placed his hand on the young man and prayed for him, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and protect his chastity.” Abu Umamah, the narrator of the hadith, said that the young man did not pay heed to any temptation thereafter.
* The man developed a hatred in his heart from this evil
* When we look at someone with an impermissible gaze, the person we are looking at is someone’s mother, daughter, sister, and/or aunt. We would not feel comfortable if someone was to look at our mother, daughter, sister, or aunt in that way
* We can also understand from this hadith the immense compassion of Prophet (ﷺ). Instead of being upset at the sahabi’s request, He (ﷺ) brought him closer and talked to him at his level
- Many marriages are facing crisis because people are not content with their spouses. One of the main reasons is because of the gaze
* When a person does not protect his gaze and uses it in an inappropriate manner, it takes away the positive energy inside to the extent that he will not have energy to do other things
* Eventually that positive energy gets seeped away and it cannot be given to the spouse and the man becomes lazy
* Physical health is also disturbed
- Hadith: In the signs of the Day of Judgment, there will come a time when a man will be considered pious when he is walking down the street and sees two people committing that act in front of people. He will say to them, “do not do this act here; go behind this tree”. He will not be able to stop them
* We cannot use the excuse of ‘during our time’
* During the time of Omar (RAH), a debate started about whether women should be allowed to come to the masjid. Aisha (RAH) said if the Prophet (ﷺ) was alive today, he would agree with Omar (RAH)
* The moment the sahaba buried the Prophet (ﷺ), they felt a change in their hearts. The Prophet (ﷺ) said the best time is my time, and the time next to that time, and the time next to that
- Hadith: Oh group of youth, a person who has the ability to pay mahr, you should be married.
* A man’s lust and desires cannot be controlled if he is not married
* Shaytan whispers to us that we should not get married or have children because we cannot afford it. But Allah is Ar-Razzaq (The Provider) and provides the sustenance for our children and wives
* Allah increases the sustenance for the married couples
* As parents, we should get our children married at a young age and be generous towards our children in providing support if the child needs it
* The food we eat has affected our bodies and the age of maturity
* A daughter is under the protection and guardianship of her father until she is married
* The worst thing a parent can do is to let their children be alone and free in this dunya where the shaytan can easily attack them
- Hadith: Some people from amongst the Companions of the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to the Prophet (SAW), ‘O Messenger of Allah, the affluent have made off with the rewards; they pray as we pray, they fast as we fast, and they give much in charity by virtue of their wealth.’ He (SAW) said, ‘Has not Allah made things for you to give in charity? Truly every tasbeehah is a charity, and every takbeerah is a charity, and every tahmeedah is a charity, and every tahleelah is a charity. And commanding the good is a charity, and forbidding an evil is a charity, and in the sexual act of each one of you there is a charity.’ They said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, when one of us fulfills his sexual desire, will he have some reward for that?’ He (SAW) said: ‘Do you not see that if he were to act upon his desire in an unlawful manner, then he would be deserving of punishment? Likewise, if he were to act upon it in a lawful manner, then he will be deserving of a reward.’o A man is rewarded when he is intimate with his spouseo When a person makes ghusl from janaba, Allah SWT forgives sins equal to the amount of hair that is on his body