Anger

Spending in the path of Allah:

  • Those who spend [in the path of Allah] in sarra and darra, and those who swallow their anger and [as a result of swallowing their anger] they forgive people;  Allah loves those who are good in conduct [the qualities mentioned] (Surah 3, Verse 134)
  • Sarra is a situation in which a person has plentiful, everything is easy, and a person feels content
  • Darra is a situation when a person feels uneasy/constraint in their heart
  • The sahaba would spend in the path of Allah during times of ease (sarra) and difficulty (darra)
  • wal kadhemeena al-ghaydh (And those who swallow their anger) is mentioned after Alladheena yunfiquna fissarrai waddarrai (Those who spend during ease and difficulty).  From this we learn we should continue to spend in situations when our heart is angered, because the anger may influence the person to withhold their spending  (i.e. not spending money to go for Hajj because of being upset about something that happened)
  • Spending on family and children is spending in the path of Allah
  • Grammatically, Alladheena yunfiquna fissarrai waddarrai is an informative sentence.  However, there is also an implied command in it, so when Allah SWT is recommending we spend, he is also saying we should spend
  • Our inclination is to stop spending when we are upset, but Allah SWT tells us the opposite
  • In situations of divorce:
  • It is common for a man to refrain from spending what is due to his wife just because they are divorcing and he is in a state of anger.  However, this is incorrect and Allah SWT says “And if you wish to change your present spouse with another spouse, and you have given the first one a heap of gold, do not take any of it back.  Would you take it through imputation and open sin? “(Surah 4, Verse 20)
  • If you wish to part from somebody, Allah SWT says wa idha talaqtumun nisaa fa balaghna ajala hunna fa amsukihunna bil ma’roof ow sarrihunna bil ma’roof (Surah 2, Verse 231). “And when you have divorced your wives and they are about to complete their prescribed term, then either retain them gracefully or release them generously” Whether you live with them or depart them, the condition for both cases is that you do it with ma’roof (goodness).  A person has to have a vast heart to be able to do this.  Anger is good in certain situations; however, we shouldn’t let our anger destroy the foundations and relationships that have been built
  • A person who is generous, his anger will also be controlled.  Generosity is a cure for anger
  • Allah SWT says khud min amwalihim saqadatan to thahiruhum wa tuzakkihim biha (Take from their wealth charity.  It will be a means of purification for them [a means of purifying their wealth and purifying their hearts] Surah 9 Verse 103)
  • Allama Alusi (RAH) says in the tafseer of this verse there is an indication that infaq fi sabilillahi (giving charity for the sake of Allah) has a direct effect on the purification of the heart
  • Allah SWT recompenses all the generous non-Muslims in this world so on the Day of Judgment they will not be able to ask for their share of their generosity
  • Allah SWT also gives back the believer’s charity,.  Wa ma anfaqtum min shayin fa huwa yukhlifo (Whatever you spend, even if a little bit, Allah SWT is going to substitute it and give you back more  (Surah 34, Verse 39)  If a person spends his knowledge, he will be given more in return
  • Infaq fi sabilillah raises a man from the depths of hypocrisy and brings him up to the level of abrar (the most pious/noble)

Swallowing your anger:

  • Allama Alusi says the reality of swallowing anger (kadhimeenal ghaydh) is like tying the top of a water skin bottle when it fills up.  When the veins of your body have filled up with anger, at that time to control it is called kadhimeenal ghaydh.  Similarly, not taking revenge upon one who has harmed them and being patient when having the ability to enforce their anger is kadhimeenal ghaydh
  • Allama Alusi says when a person swallows his anger, Allah SWT will fill his heart with security, safety, and iman and he’ll be given confidence
  • It is fard for a child to swallow his anger in front of his parents
  • The difference between ghadhab and ghaydh is that with ghadhab a person has made a firm intention that he’s going to act on his anger.  Ghaydh is the opposite, when a person is angry but hasn’t made an intention to do anything
  • Ghadhab is attributed to Allah SWT because he has the power and might to carry it out
  • Hadith:  ‘Allah SWT will call the man [who controls his anger] on the day of judgment in front of and ahead of all the creation of Allah SWT, until Allah will select him and will give him the option to select any hoor from paradise.’  Everyone has a different level of anger, so the rank of someone who has a little anger and controls it will be different from someone who has a lot of anger and controls it
  • Hadith:  ‘Allah SWT will ask on the Day of Judgment the one who has a claim upon Allah SWT to stand.  The only ones who will stand are those who pardoned others in this world.’  This is related to anger because the fact that you have forgiven somebody means you have controlled your anger
  • Allah appoints a supervisor in paradise and raises the ranks of the one who: 1.) pardons the one who transgresses against him, 2.) gives to the one who deprives him, and 3.) joins connections to those who disconnect with him
  • At the time of the battle of Uhud, when the Prophet (SAW) saw Hamza (RA) with his nose and ears and other body parts cut, he (SAWS) said “I shall surely cut the noses and ears of 70 disbelievers in your place.’  Allah SWT sent Jibrail (AHS) and said ‘If you are going to take revenge, then do it in a similar fashion as has been done to you.  But if you were to be patient, it is best for those who are patient.  Be patient oh RasoolAllah (You’re only going to be patient because of me).  And don’t grieve and don’t let your heart become tight/constrained of what those people plot.’  (Surah 16, Verses 126-127) Allah SWT with these few words took away the anger of the Prophet (SAW)
  • Reading Quran at the time of anger can sometimes work wonders